Carcass

The dead beetle lies
Legs up
Next to the garbage can
And I walk over it
Three days in a row now
Habit kicks in
And every time
I walk to the bathroom
With a magazine
I just naturally take
An extra long
Step
To not
Crush the corpse
Beneath
My foot
And I piss and shit
Read about
Politics and art
While I crap
Then shave and shower
And step over
The corpse again
And find some
Clean clothes

I shoot some whiskey
And get ready for
Work

Walking to the job
I step over the beggars
And ignore the
Asking questions
"Got a cigarette?
Some change?"

I return home
And the dead beetle
Is illuminated in the bit
Of moonlight
That permeates through
The cracks of the
Always shut blinds

I pour a drink
I light a smoke

"Hey asshole,
You got one for me?"
Something in the room
Speaks up
I already told the walls
At gunpoint
To not address me
Within the first
Ten minutes
Of my arrival
So I knew the voice
Wasn't coming from
The walls

I put my head down
On a pillow
A gun is in my face
"You should have thrown
Me away a week ago"

I couldn't see who or what
Was holding that piece

"Turn the light on"
I was commanded
I reached for the pull-chain
The room lit up
The beetle was holding
A gun to my head

Pictures of ex-girlfriends
And ex-friends
Were littered
Everywhere

"You don't know
How to throw anything
Away"

I slowly reached under my pillow
For a bottle of whiskey

"Watch it, pal," it said.
I took a swig

"So what's next?"
I asked
As I looked at smiles
And poses
And kisses
Snapshots
Hanging and
Lying
Everywhere

"You're next"
Said the bug

The gun fell onto
It's side
On the mattress
And I heard the noises
Of something
Choking and dying

I passed out
And woke up
To the smell
Of burning toast
And felt the room
Crowded with
Ghosts

A message
Written in coffee grounds
On the kitchen floor
Read:
"Wake up"

I looked around the room
At the pictures
Saw a bug
Legs up
And said
"No thanks"

Let me return to the nightmares
Just living is easy
Albeit
Disgusting
The nightmares
Let me rest

Awake
Forces me to remember
And feel

I'm not going
To get up
For that