That Time In California

I don't know why I remember it so much or in such detail. A period in time when nothing was really going on in my life. I was single and visiting a friend in California. But that was the time that all this emo-core and metal-core and emo-metal-core came out. The songs I guess were interesting back then and I'm listening to them now and I remember that time. Young(er), single, just a free bartender...

I Fuckin Know It

I should be writing right now (this is not the kind of writing I'm talking about). I should be doing something right now. Something. Something significant, important, real....fuck it. I'm polishing off a 1.75 litre of Jim Beam and listening to old metal records while the girlfriend sleeps. I should go to bed, get up early and work out. Instead I drink and work out my liver and body in a whole different way. Stretch it until it dies. No improvement. Just endure the pain, create more pain and satiate it while digging the grave.

More Sleeplessness

Fuck this shit. I just can't sleep. Or don't want to. Don't know. Drinking bourbon hoping to pass out.
Problems, problems. Whatever.

Fishing In Lake Blood

Cast the lure
Cast the cast
The same old group of disbelievers
On a boat
Full of beer
And worms

This lake was a city
Now it's a puddle
In the eye of a satellite
A muck

And the leaders
Are standing on their toes
On the tops of anthills
Slowing soaking up
Up
And the ants are
Running into space
Between the toenail
And the skin
And digging
Like they did
Dirt
Into the bodies
Of the leaders
Crawling inside
The calves
Up to the knees
Into the thighs
Up the spine
And into the brain
And they say
"Stop"
And they say
"fuck you, we had it good
until you arrived"

And the blood
Of Lake Blood
Rose
And the ants crawled into
The scalps
And the scalps rotted off the
Tops of the heads
Of those that thought
They were still in power
And became flotation devices
And the ants sailed on

And the fish choked
Because the blood
Was too full
Of toxins

Eventually
Even the ants died
Off
And the Earth
Once a blue planet
Was as red as mars
As red as the lightbulb
That blinked
"Under Attack"