Wife Fucker/ Love Doctor

Jake never thought that he would be 71 years old, but he was. He never thought he'd be alive and married at 71. But he was. Like every night, he sat behind the monitor and considered writing a book.
"Take out the fucking trash, will ya!" she said from beneath the covers, a thousand folds of flesh and bag of Yim Yams.
"I'm busy!" Jake yelled and flipped through an old picture book. Photos of Jake and his dead family. Photos of when he was happy and when Doris wasn't a fat fucking bitch-monster.
"Take out the MOTHERFUCKING trash, now!" she yelled.
Jake shut his eyes, took a breath and walked into the room where the "woman" wobbled on the bed.
"Did you hear me?!" Doris yelled.
"Fucking Jupiter heard you,"Jake said and gripped the handle of his cane. In his mind, he was beating Doris to a pulp, a fucking pulp.
"Why do I need to take the trash out now? Right NOW. Why the FUCK NOW!?" he stared at Doris. Doris didn't flinch.
"Because if you don't," Doris inhaled and then exhaled, "I'll tell them about you," she whispered and placed a finger on her nipple.
"Tell, em, it'd be better than this shit," Jake whispered and lowered his head.
Jake limped over to the garbage can and began to tie off the ends.
"Don't forget to throw out all the shit in the fridge, okay, hon?" she screeched, gargled, said...
"Fucking shit," Jake opened the refrigerator and saw all the blood bags hanging there. Abortions in the crisper, testicles not even wrapped.
"You let everything go bad," he yelled, "why didn't you eat this shit?"
"The neighbors came over, you remember, silly. You FUCKING SILLY!"
"No more neighbors," Jake said and dumped container after container of neighbor into the trash.
When Jake was done, he tied off the trash bag and tried to pull it out of the can.
"Fucking heavy," he whispered.
"You say something, hon?" Doris said while mutilating.
"It's just that the garbage is fucking heavy," Jake yanked the bag out of the can, then grabbed his can and walked out the door.
Jake dragged the bag, a hole was forming, a hole that dripped neighbor.
He dragged the bag around the corner and considered leaving the bag next to one of the dumpsters.
"Well, you ain't gonna leave that bag out in the open, are, ya?" came a voice from behind the telephone pole in the alley.
"Why the fuck not and who the fuck is talking?" Jake raised his cane and peered into the dark.
"I'm the leach," said the voice. "You know, the leach!" a six foot black worm emerged from behind the telephone pole.
"Fuck off leach, I don't need any..." Jake said, annoyed, then picked up the bag and pushed it into the garbage can.
"You don't fuck your wife anymore, Jake," said the Leach.
"Oh yeah," Jake tensed his grip on his cane. "I don't recall it being any of your business."
"Fucking is my business," said the Leach.
"If you want to make fucking my wife your business, then you fuck my wife," Jake said and walked toward the exit of the alley. "Fuck my wife, please," Jake whispered to the Leach.
"Oh Jake, Jakey!" the Leach called out.
Jake turned around.
"What?"
"Look, old man" began the Leach, "It's a goddamned unfortunate thing, the radiation, the mutation, the hunger for flesh, the weight gain and all. But I can guarantee you a place in Hell, if you fuck that monstrosity just one more time."
"What's in it for you?" Jake asked.
"Oh, just jollies!" said the Leach.
"And what's in it for me?" Jake stroked his beard.
"Just a little thing I like to call life in hell."
"Deal." Jake said. "get me out of this world."
"Ah, glorious!" said the Leach.
"Do either one of us have to cum?" Jake asked.
"Just stick your dick in, Jake, that'll be enough for me."
"How do I know that you'll kill me, that I'll live my life in hell?"
"If you can't trust the Leach, then who can you trust?" said the Leach.
Jake walked back into his apartment, drank half a bottle of scotch, shot his dick up with heroin and then said "I need to fuck you, so I can burn in hell."
Doris rolled over and said: "You ain't sticking that weird shit in me, pal, nuh, uh." and then rolled over again. Jake looked up, the Leach was in the alley, masturbating and mouthing the words "do it."
Jake mouthed the words "does raping her ass count?"
The Leach gave Jake the "thumbs up" motion and then continued to stroke himself.
"Just sit still," Jake's mind was a fury with porno. He thought so hard about fucking when finally the heroin took effect. First he beat his dick against the wall then stuck it up against the shield of the fan.
"This is going in you," he held it, shook it and then threw up on himself.
"Lubricant," he whispered and started stroking.
Doris took a shit and babies crawled out of the feces, stood up and walked away.
"This is not how I expected my morning to begin!" Jake yelled.
Doris unleashed her tentacles and said, "I am not going to be your fuck escape to hell.
The Leach continued to masturbate outside the window.
"Look, I've got a plan," Jake said as Doris's tentacles grabbed him by the throat.
"Just let me fuck you, drag me into your cunt, I'll hold onto you and pull you into your own vagina and we can burn in hell together!"
The Leach started to cum beetles.
"Why would you do that for me, after all the shit I put you through?" Doris asked and shit.
Jake punched his dick and said, "If I'm going to burn in hell, I'd like to do it with you. In your asshole, in THE asshole of the galaxy. I've been a lucky man thus far.
The Leach stopped masturbating and was enveloped by his own beetle cum.
"Let's go to hell," Jake said, while crawling into her vagina and holding her hand.
"Don't let go," Doris said as her flesh started to drag into her own vagina.
"I can see the end!" Jake said, "I can feel the burn!" Jake laughed and came and shit in his pants.
Doris's brain dragged into her own vagina and emitted a lightning bolt.

"Why the fuck are you masturbating on your garbage," the man said to Jake.
Jake looked around.
He was back in his alley. A warm summer night. A bag of neighbor. A hand full of cock.
Jake looked over his shoulder at the man and said "Just checking the oil, okay?"
The man walked away and Jake came. Jake came flames, blood and vengeance.
"Goddamn, if I'm going to stay sane, I'm going to kill my wife."