I don't know what it is. The dumbest shit makes my eyes fill up with tears. Cell phone commercials, catheter commercials, bad sit coms where shit isn't even supposed to be remotely sad...ALF reruns. But yet I can stone-wall every real emotion I have in the light. I can let love walk away and walk away from love, and maybe cry about it later, but I spontaneously gush under a sheet when I see a commercial about animal abuse. I stifle it and drink it away. But when my human loves or friends are around, I'm dead. Pragmatic and matter o' fact. And if I miss them, I dig up the best and cry over it. Most of my family is dead and it never really affected me. I'm waiting for the emotional time bomb to go off. Something is going to blow. Getting drunk and yelling at the mirror may take away some of the pressure, but not enough. I just wish I knew what I am crying about...seriously, catheters?
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