Buying grass-fed ground beef happened about 8 hours ago. Picking up a fifth and a pizza was about 5 hours ago. I started writing a paper about 12 hours ago and completed it, complete with Nagelbergisms, similar to fuckyouIgotthissojustacceptwhatIamsayingandmoveonisms....But I remember graduating 8th grade and assuming while mowing the lawn that high school would never arrive. I remember having to play Gerald Ford in a production about the presidents in 3rd grade and the day before thinking that time moved so slowly that the play would never happen. But it did. My mother told me to trip on stage, as Gerald Ford was known to be somewhat of a klutz. Even Chevy Chase played him that way. I tripped on stage but no one got it. They just thought I was a dumbshit kid, which I was...but these adults didn't even get it? My teachers asked me if I was okay. Did they not get it either? I guess not. I went home disappointed and stared at the jar of jelly beans I had bought with my allowance thinking that I'd be Reagan but some bitch-mother wanted her son to be Reagan and I got demoted. But that asshole kid forgot to bring his jar of jellybeans onto the stage so all he was was some dipshit that kept whispering "Well," "Well, Tear down that wall..." But he had no volume, no props and no panache. Fuck that kid. Three decades later, I barely want to be alive. Drinking in bed at 5am. I would have torn down that fucking wall. I would have screamed that shit. I feel like screaming it now.
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