Great New Flavor and Texture (2005, 2015)

I don't know how late it was

It was still dark

Thankfully

I dread the sun

I came home from another

Drinking shitfest

"Alive"

Loosely

I still had some 

Song in my head

I slapped my left ear

It did not jar

The song

From my head

I tried to control

The blackouts

Create memories now

Associations

ETC

So I'll remember 

Tomorrow

But I never

Remember

Tomorrow

It's just a 

Blackhole

Yesterday

I probably picked

A fight

Talked to a girl

Put up my dukes

Put out my heart

Opened up my 

Body bag

Crawled in

Slung my skin

Over my shoulders

And 

Keyed into my 

Apartment

Safely

If I remember 

It all

Correctly

This time

I trace

Untouched

Unscathed

Unfelt

Unloved

It feels good

But I can't wait 

To forget

Before I lost it

Completely

I decided on food

I needed it

But I didn't have it

I stared at the tub of

Butter
In the back
Of the refrigerator
For an eternity
It was behind
The empty bottle
Of ranch dressing
And the aborted
Pixelated squid
Fucking a squirel
Video

I pulled it from the back

Of the refrigerator and

Threw off the lid

I grabbed the only knife 

I owned

The one I was throwing 

Around the room 

At the ghosts

The night before

The knife was ridiculously

Large

But so were the ghosts

I plunged that blade

Into the tub of butter

Scooped up

A chunk

Put it in my mouth

Closed my lips

Around the buttered

Blade

And began to chew

On the butter

And the metal

And the night

I could taste the steel

Of the blade

The copper 

Of my blood

The salt

Of the butter

I kept chewing

On the knife

Gnawing

Scraping

Turning it into

Metallic taffy

Tearing in my mouth

Turning into bits

Of sharp

Chewable 

Shrapnel

And half of my blood

Is being sucked down my

Throat

And the other half

Is dripping down

My chin

End scene

On the floor

A sliver of sunshine

Slips through the shade

Bounces off of the mirror

Of the medicine cabinet

So strongly that 

My eyelids heat up

And open

I take a moment

Then another

Then one more

My mouth is 

Desecrated

Bloody cotton mouth

The handle of 

The knife is

Next to my face

I reach for the stove

Get a grip 

By the front burners

And creep up

It's old cold

White metal

On my knees

I am eye to eye 

With the one burner

That does 

Not 

Work

I get to my feet

Spit blood

And blood that

Was trying to scab

"I hope I die before

I shit this out"

I thought

Thinking of the metal

Thinking of living

"This wasn't suicide"

I thought and danced

Across the kitchen 

And grabbed the bottle

This will make the dogs

Think twice about

Eating me

A stomach

Full of

Shrapnel

But then I woke up

Unscathed

In a beach chair

Staring at an ocean

And I could not

Figure out how

I got there

I ordered a drink

Stared at the horizon

I might have smiled

For a second

I woke up again

And robot dogs

Were eating my stomach

Ingesting metal bits and all

And my cats just sat there

I noticed that the recipe

Did not require

Hope